Monday, 21 January 2013

Mum

It's been a tough week and despite my mum being ill for so many years, one that none of us really saw coming.
I was woken by the phone ringing very early on Tuesday morning. The home phone never rings, we don't even have a handset upstairs but I knew right away the conversation that lay waiting for me on the other end of the line. I raced to the phone and despite knowing what he was going to say, my brother's words hit me like a ton of bricks. BOOM. After twenty plus years of suffering from emphysema my mum had just passed away. 

Practicalities kicked in and my brother, No1 son and I headed to my dad in Cornwall. We had strength in each other's company but dad's phone rang constantly and seeing him break just a little bit further with each and every call chipped away at us.

I chose to see her at the hospital and it hit me then that she was really gone, that I didn't have a mum anymore. That was quite simply the worst moment of my life. 
Please cherish yours because when she's gone you will need her more than you ever did.

I dedicate this post to my mum, who despite battling such an awful illness for so long, was a huge inspiration to so many others.
I love you mum.





62 comments:

  1. Words just seems so empty. Sending strength, love and hope. x

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  2. So sorry. Much love to you and yours.

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  3. Awww. I'm so sorry. Words are a bit useless at this point, but sending virtual hugs to you. x

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  4. Nothing I say will make the pain go however virtual hugs and tea coming your way xx

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  5. So sorry honey. There are no words, but please know I'm here for you day or night. She looks like a beautiful and strong woman, just like her daughter. Hugs xx

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  6. Thinking of you and your family Sian at this sad time. I lost my Dad on the 4th Jan and I too have struggled with the huge impact of the loss sending you a big virtual hug x

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  7. a beautiful post, and lovely pictures, sending love and strength to you all xxxxxxxx

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  8. I am very sorry to hear such sad news Sian... thinking of you and your family xxx

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  9. So sorry for your loss, beautiful photos. Thinking of you all xx

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  10. So sorry Sian. Your mom looks beautiful in the photos. Thinking of you. Hugs x

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  11. Super Amazing Mum21 January 2013 07:57

    love and hugs and strength to you all. So sorry xxxxx

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  12. I know that no words can make it easier but am sending love and strength to you and your family. *hugs*

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  13. So sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs. May you cherish all the happy memories and get strength. Your mum is beautiful. My mum lives 3000+ miles away and I haven't met her for 1.5 years.Even though I speak to her at least thrice a week, your post just made me too emotional and makes me want to go and meet her straight away.

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  14. I am so terribly, terribly sorry for your loss Sian. As with others. I am sending love and strength to you all x

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  15. Again I'm so sorry for your loss; I can't even begin to imagine losing my mom xoxoxo

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  16. So sorry for your loss x

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  17. I'm so sorry for your loss x

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  18. Crystal Jigsaw21 January 2013 14:06

    Words are never enough but love is always around you. Beautifully written post.
    CJ x

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  19. Sending you much love, as always xx

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  20. and I love you too. Need a Erica hug sooner rather than later. x

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  21. It's that feeling of not being able to pick up the phone and speak to her that has me in floods of tears at least 5 times every day. Not sure how that gets easier TBH. x

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  22. Ipshita, you too cherish your words and time together. Hold them close and make them special. x

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  23. Back at you on the hugs. Sorry to hear about your dad. x

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  24. Thanks for the hugs Mags. Much appreciated. x

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  25. I'm so sorry Sian. No words help at this time, I'm sure. XXX

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  26. AnnieMammasaurus21 January 2013 17:55

    Sorry to hear this sad news Sian, stay strong x

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  27. So sorry to hear your news. x

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  28. I wish I could do something :( I'm always here on the phone or online if you need me and a mega big hug when I see you next xoxo

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  29. I'm so sorry for your loss Sian, I hope you're OK. I lost my mam a few years ago and it didn't start to sink in until after the funeral when life started to get back to normal again - the kids would come home from school with some funny story that I would have loved to have shared with her but she wasn't at the end of the phone anymore. It does get easier to live with though and at some point you start to feel less pain and you can remember more of the fun times without feeling like you're going to cry. Take care of yourself x

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  30. Lots of love Sian. No other words to say other than sending you lots of love

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  31. I am sorry to hear the news about your Mum Sian. x

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  32. I'm so sorry about your loss, hun. Thinking of you and sending you lots of love and strength x

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  33. So sorry for your loss. Such beautiful words dedicated to your mum xx

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  34. My Mum lives so far away. I don't see her enough. Thinking of you Sian x

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  35. ghostwritermummy21 January 2013 20:18

    I'm so sorry xxx

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  36. I wish you strength, and courage, and much love to you and your family. x

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  37. Oh Sian, I'm so sorry, remember the good things and even your teenage grumps, thinking of you all xxx

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  38. I am so very sorry for your loss Sian x

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  39. Sending healing thoughts to you and your family

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  40. Loosing your mum is so very hard! Sending love from one who knows! xxx

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  41. So sorry Sian. So very sorry x

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  42. I'm so sorry to hear this - I hope that you find the strength together with your brother and your family to get through this xx

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  43. Bianca Cox (Richmond Mummy)21 January 2013 23:07

    So sorry for your loss, thinking of you and sending lots of love x

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  44. I'm so sorry. Thoughts are with you all xx

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  45. Mummywhisperer22 January 2013 08:28

    So sorry Sian. My Mum was ill from when I was little, but it was still a shock when she suddenly died when I was pregnant with Max. I do fine, apart from the best and the worst days - after all Mums kind of have to listen to your highs and lows and no one else has the same interest as them.
    Be gentle on yourself over the next year, especially these first 6 months. Avoid vexatious people, especially if something to do with work, because you may well tell them to f*ck off.
    Take care

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  46. I'm so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself x

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  47. I am very sorry to hear this. My thoughts and deepest sympathies are with you and your family during this difficult time. x

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  48. I'm so sorry!! I can't imagine - I truly can't. I will appreciate my mother doubly in your honor this week! Praying for you!!

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  49. so sorry to hear your news Sian, even if you can see it coming its still an enormous shock x

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  50. Oh Sian I am so sorry, very wise words

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Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts. Appreciated as always. xx

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