Saturday, 4 July 2009

Sponge Bob Square Pants and my other Irrational Hates

1. In some fashion circles good old Sponge Bob Square Pants is a style icon. Designer Marc Jacobs even proudly supports a tattoo of the said yellow sponge. So why then does it drive me totally and utterly mad?
I HATE it, and with a vengeance. But why??

It could be because the kids will sit in front of it at any given chance and whilst they are watching it - they pay absolutely no notice to what I am saying. This usually happens on a morning when I disappear to have a shower and ask them to get ready for school.

When I get out of the shower they are either a) Still downstairs in front of the TV where I left them or on the odd occasion b) Sitting in DinoBoy's bedroom still in their PJ's like vegetables.

It makes me boil... and I can't even say that I have ever sat through even five minutes of an episode ( I have slept through enough and as I seem to know all of the characters names and places of interest I have obviously subconsciously absorbed more than I would like to admit).

2. The fact that my kids wait till I have sat down to ask me to do something. Example... I make a meal. Ask them if they would like anything, they say no. I sit down and then one of them asks if I can get them a drink...

Did I not just ask if they wanted anything?

3. They way my white dog always chooses to escape out of the garden and roll in sheep / fox / cow poo the day after I have bathed her.

4. Peanut Butter. I like peanuts so why does the thought / smell of peanut butter make me want to puke?

5. That despite me telling him every other week for the whole school year DinoBoy continues to hoard homework and school letters in his bag. Every evening I ask him if he has any homework and he always says no. Tell me why then that when I went through his bag yesterday there were school dinner bills going back to May and at least five pieces of homework. That boy lives in Sonny son land with his family of Cuski's!

6. The fascists at Paypal. I hate that they can just take funds out of your account on the say of a buyer who is completely trying it on. Even when case is closed in your favour they take a week to pay you back. Daylight robbery.

7. The fact that I can never find a pair of ballet socks. My clean basket has about 15 ballet socks in it, all differing size and colour. Taking into consideration that ModelGirl and FunnyGirl both wear the same size - how can that be?

8. That DinoBoy cannot close his wardrobe or drawers. I must have told him about it close to 100 times - yet everytime I walk into his bedroom they are open........ Urgh.....

9. This isn't irrational but I thought that I would throw it in anyway... I hate that I can't wear high heels. I dream about owning a pair of sky high hooker shoes (as FunnyGirl calls them). I know that it is stupid and if I could actually wear them in all honesty I probably wouldn't.
I was 21 when I broke my ankle and had it pinned and I had never had a cinderella moment before then. But now that I absolutely can't I want, want want.

10. Any stroller that isn't a Stokke Xplory...
Ok so not totally but I don't get why anyone would want anything else!

Tomorrow, 10 things that I love part 1!

I would like to add that @byyanto has just commented to me that I am a bit hard on Sponge Bob. He says it is very well written. WHAT? I think that this is possibly my point. I think that it is full of subliminal messages. How else would I be able to say to you. Sponge Bob, Crusty Crab, Patrick, Squidward, Plankton, Gary, Sandy Cheeks & Crabby Patties? I rest my case.

I would love some feedback from you guys with some of the things that you irrationally hate.


  1. I am with you with paypal. They are b*stards!
    Peanut butter is yum ... what's wrong with you woman?
    I have never seen square-thingy-me-bob so cant comment.
    I love my heels, like proper love them, so I understand that one! xx

  2. ps. My irrational hates are:

    Defeatist Attitudes - I hate wasting energy on negativity.

    People who do not wash teaspoons properly, there is NEVER any excuse for them to stain. Clean them properly your lazy mofo!

    Blaggers & Braggers - it really does not impress me.

    Hair in plug holes - it makes me want to puke.

    People who don't pick up their doggy poo. Have some respect you arseholes.

    Rant over!

  3. Brilliant post!
    I can't stand false nails. To quote Barack Obama 'You can put lipstick on a pig, it's still a pig'. Sorry, can't stand them! There, I feel better now :-)

  4. So funny!

    Totally with you on the boys school bag/homework thing. I have the same trouble with my 8yo. It drives me mad, I tell him he will end up having to be a bin man as he won't do well at school. (before anyone says, nothing wrong with being a bin man, if it makes you happy/pays the bills. But I know 8yo would HATE it as he has a thing about smells)

    My kids also do the thing with needing stuff at the dinner table after I have just asked them and then sat down. So annoying.

    My hates include

    - People on t'internet calling me "hun" sorry, I don't even know why but I hate it.

    - Smelly people who get in your personal space. I hate it when I realsise I am holding my breath, eeeuww- have a wash won't you?!

    - babies with earings

    - people who tut when your child is having a turn out in public. "yes??, what?? have you never seen a child misbehaving??!!, wind your neck in will you?!" of course I never do say anything. Just feel like a crap mother and scuttle off back home.

    -people dropping litter

  5. I'd be happy to get on the Stokke Explory bandwagon if you'd like to bequeath me with one! :) I'm open to all sorts of pushchairs!
    *LOATHE the Teletubbies. Can't abide by them and if they are on for even a millisecond, I just about lose it. Now, I am a big fan of In The Night Garden and some people say that it's the same at Teletubbies but THEY ARE WRONG.
    *Hate it when people leave time left on the microwave. I can't stand seeing seconds left behind.
    *Hate POOR SPELLING!!! Using YOUR and YOU'RE, THEIR, THEY'RE, and THERE incorrectly. Think about it! (Did I spell all that correctly?)
    *Hate that after I have fed, rocked and put Little Miss to sleep, I come downstairs and her toys are still laying about while Hubby sits and watches more motorsport! Can you not see those books? Are your legs broken after your hard day at work? That's ok...I'll get it!
    I feel better now! :)

  6. im in agreement with all of you!

    the spongebob thing... I've endured about every episode at least twice! and can name every person too!! nightmare.. but i do love mr crabs, and his obsession with money! how healthy is that for kids to see & know! :-S

    My super pet hates are:

    - the Tv's being left on in EVERY ROOM.. no one ever turns them off... even at my mums, I go round there and they have lights on, tvs on, musi on.. and NO ONE is in!! drives me nuts!
    - mothers who have babies in the stroller, facing away from them, baby screaming, but mum has iPod in and can't hear or see said baby... I reallywant to just stop these mothers and say.. "F'in pay attention to your child.. NOW"
    - Again, mothers who have babies in forward facing strollers, in the sun.. no parasol, no hat, no nothing and they don't seem to notice that the baby/chld is in distress because its eyes all all scrunched up and upset.. put them in the shade. please!!
    - SOCKS... i find socks.. everywhere... my boys have a habit of only taking off 1 sock.. why? i don't know! but i'm always finding '1' socks.. and have yet to find the other when washing.. So many odds.. grrr!!
    - same as Abby.. tutting.. I can't stand it!! especially when i'm out with all 4 kids and one of them plays up.. I get no end of sarcasm and tuts with head shaking.. drives me crazy...
    - again, same as Abby... babies with earrings... my friend had her twin daughters done when they were 6 mths old... and said " aren't you getting Sophie's done?" umm... no.. i'll wait till she's old enough.. then she can choose! for now though, she has so much fun wearing my hideous clip ons! we have so much fun with them!! LOL

    I could probably go on for hours... and poor Sian doesn't want me filling her comment space up! LOL

  7. Cracking post, here's a few of mine:

    1) The fact that EVERY TIME I go for a pee, I hear 'Mooommmyyy! Mom!' It's never important, and the only time I have a pee in peace is when the kids aren't home.

    2) The sound of trickling water. I can't explain why, I don't know, but the sound of it brings me out in a rage, especially if it's someone 'slow pouring'!

    3) Babies & small children with ridiculously large gold chains.

    4) People who eat with their mouths open and make chompy noises.

    5) Jeremy Clarkson, I can't watch him & I hate the sound of his voice.

    6) Swearing for the sake of it, just throwing a couple of 'effing's into a sentence to pad it out, especially when kids are in earshot.

    7) Dog poo on the street.

    8) Parents who dress their little girls in trampy adult style clothing.

    I think I may be a good candidate for 'Grumpy Old Women' as I could carry on for a while!

  8. Oh I forgot to add:

    People who turn & leave lights on during the day, people that use tumbledryers on sunny days, and the kid's Dad when he comes round and turns my telly over when I'm watching something - HOW RUDE!

  9. I love Spongebob, it is just so silly.

    My pet hates:

    1. Text speak. I am afraid that I use proper English in my texts with correct punctuation and everything. I cannot stand all of this: C U L8R rubbish. Oh and people that text all in capitals. why the hell are you shouting at me?

    2. Stupid shortening of names. For example everyone calling Susan Boyle from Britain's Got Talent SuBo. Aaaaggggghhhhhh.

    3. The fact that all magazines talk about these days is people's weight. What they were last month, what they are this month, how they lost it, how they put it on. How to loose weight, what is too thin, who has cellulite. The list goes on but it drives me mental. Oh and if you know what is good for you do not get me started on makeover televison shows.

    4. People referring to adverts when talking. For example when using the word 'confused' in a sentence saying "I am".

    5. Leaving the dirty dishwater in the sink when you have finished washing up. It is not hard to tip it out and give the bowl and sink a quick rinse so that they are clean. Cold greasy usually orange washing up water is horrible. Leave the drying up though, that is what air is for!

  10. Sorry. I have to say that I find Spongebob really funny. The other stuff that my DH watchs like Drake & Josh, Hannah Montanah and the Sweet Life of Zach and Cody bug the hell out of me, but I like Spongebob!

    My pet hates are:

    People living off benefits for no good reason other than laziness.

    Putting empty boxes and bottles back in the cupboard/fridge.

    Waiting in ques (cue?) complete mind blank. You know a line where you wait to be served. I can't think how to spell it!

    Idiots who can't spell!!!! LOL


Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts. Appreciated as always. xx


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